Quotes from The Comedy of Hamlet

Website design By BotEap.comIn the competition for Angstiest Dane, Prince Hamlet ranks high up alongside Kierkegaard in the “off the charts” division, giving “Hamlet’s Tragedy” a reputation for being grueling and inaccessible. Hamlet spends four of the play’s five acts in deepening existential funk. And rightfully so, considering the fact that a) his dad died two months ago, b) his girlfriend won’t talk to him, c) his mom is remarried, d) his new “dad” was once his uncle, it’s i.e., mommy’s butting heads with her own brother-in-law, e) the stepdad also happens to be the guy who killed daddy, and of course, the little matter of f) the court *literally* plotting against Hamlet.

Website design By BotEap.comIn light of these and other circumstances, the fact that the play still manages to make us laugh out loud is quite remarkable. That is, when we’re not so caught up in the drama that we miss the mind games, double/triple listening, and general absurdity characteristic of lesser-known quotes from Hamlet. Temperamental though he may be, Hamlet is not without a sense of humour, and Shakespeare even less so.

Website design By BotEap.comTake, for example, the argument between King Claudius and Hamlet after Hamlet murders Polonius.

Website design By BotEap.comKing: Now, Hamlet, where is Polonius?

Website design By BotEap.com(Where’s the corpse, brat?)

Website design By BotEap.comHamlet: At dinner.

Website design By BotEap.com(Would not you like to know?)

Website design By BotEap.comKing: At dinner! Where?

Website design By BotEap.com(Watch out, kid!)

Website design By BotEap.comHamlet: Not where he eats, but where he is eaten…

Website design By BotEap.com(Guess how many worms he’s feeding!)

Website design By BotEap.comKing: Oh, oh!

Website design By BotEap.com(The guy was an idiot, but what can you do?)

Website design By BotEap.comHamlet: A man can fish with the worm that ate a king, and eat the fish that ate that worm.

Website design By BotEap.com(The king becomes food for worms, the worm becomes food for fish, the fish becomes food for fishermen. Ergo, the fisherman eats royalty. Circle of life, asshole.)

Website design By BotEap.comKing: What do you mean by this?

Website design By BotEap.com(What the hell?)

Website design By BotEap.comHamlet: Nothing more than to show you how a king can make his way through the guts of a beggar.

Website design By BotEap.com(Nuthin, just wondering if you’ve guessed what will happen *after* going through the guts of a beggar.)

Website design By BotEap.comKing: Where is Polonium?

Website design By BotEap.com(This is your last chance.)

Website design By BotEap.comHamlet: In heaven: send there to see: if your messenger does not find it there, look for it yourself in the other place.

Website design By BotEap.com(Go to hell!)

Website design By BotEap.comOr what about the passive-aggressive exchange between Hamlet and Ophelia during the play (within the play). Note that all of this happens publicly.

Website design By BotEap.comHamlet: Madam, shall I lie on your lap?

Website design By BotEap.com(How about I get between your legs?)

Website design By BotEap.comOphelia: No, my lord.

Website design By BotEap.com(No, damn it.)

Website design By BotEap.comHamlet: I mean, my head in your lap?

Website design By BotEap.com(All I wanted was to rest my head on your knees!)

Website design By BotEap.comOphelia: Oh, my lord.

Website design By BotEap.com(Uh huh.)

Website design By BotEap.comHamlet: Do you think I meant country affairs?

Website design By BotEap.com(Psh, you thought I meant sex! Just because the first syllable of “country” rhymes with…)

Website design By BotEap.comOphelia: I believe nothing, my lord.

Website design By BotEap.com(I don’t play this game anymore.)

Website design By BotEap.comHamlet: It’s a good idea to lie between the maids’ legs.

Website design By BotEap.com(Did you really just say “nothing”? Because that’s slang for female genitalia.)

Website design By BotEap.comOphelia: What is it, my lord?

Website design By BotEap.com(What do you have, twelve?!)

Website design By BotEap.comHamlet: Nothing.

Website design By BotEap.com(You heard me, darlings.)

Website design By BotEap.comThe fact that Hamlet is ten times smarter than everyone else, not to mention that he pretends to be crazy so he can say whatever he wants, makes it a truly fun read, even amidst all the crying, brooding, and procrastination. regicide. ing

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