The effects of the father-daughter relationship on self-esteem: from first love to self-love

Website design By BotEap.comDo you remember the first boy you fell in love with? Close your eyes and think about him, just for a minute. What was your name? How old were you? Where were they when they first looked into each other and held hands? Remember how it felt to be with him. When they were together, time stopped. Even when you were among a group of friends, you felt special because he was there. The very idea of ​​him was exhilarating. You felt alive

Website design By BotEap.comWhat a wonderful feeling! I will never forget the first boy I fell in love with. It was the summer I turned thirteen. I was sliding on my skateboard with my friend close to her. That’s when I saw it. He was on his bike when our paths literally crossed. I don’t know what made us all stop, but we did. It turned out that David didn’t live very far away and he soon developed a habit of riding his bike down my street, hoping to find me hanging outside my house or skating around our neighborhood. David was turning sixteen at the end of that summer. It didn’t bother me that he was more mature than any boy I would have liked. I was more concerned with how my older brother would handle it, since they were the same age.

Website design By BotEap.comDuring that summer, David and I spent many days together. We talked for hours. He was different from most of the boys she knew. He was confident and knew how to deal with a girl. The thing that stood out the most in my mind was the way he made me feel when he hugged me. I remember that feeling as if it happened yesterday. He was so young and yet he was so in love. Although David may have been the first boy I loved, he was not the first man.

Website design By BotEap.comThink about the first man you fell in love with. Do you remember the first time he hugged you in his big, strong arms? His kisses were so tender and his touch was so soft. The warmth of his body against yours was very comforting. Sleeping was easier when you felt so safe, so loved. You can remember? It was so long ago …

Website design By BotEap.comLet me help you here … you can’t possibly remember how you felt because … you were just a baby. The first man you loved was none other than your father. Imagine yourself as a baby. You came into this world in need of warmth, nourishment, and human contact. Unless your father was absent the moment before you emerged from the womb, his arms were the first male arms to wrap around your little body. This was your first tactile experience with the opposite sex, and even though you were just a baby, the bond between you and your father began to develop.

Website design By BotEap.comAccording to attachment theory, extensively studied by Konrad Lorenz, the link is a natural and biological certainty. We know for a fact that baby ducks, baby monkeys, and human babies are genetically programmed to bond immediately after birth and in the first few days of their life. And their caregivers (mothers, fathers, caregivers) also become attached to these babies.

Website design By BotEap.comUnfortunately, not all babies have the same opportunity to become attached to their parents, simply because they were physically absent. Born into the world, never bonding with your father can feel like there’s a void in your life that you’ve been trying to fill ever since.

Website design By BotEap.comFor a girl, can the absence of her biological father unconsciously lead her to find that missing link in other men? When your innate need to bond with him isn’t met, can you continue to develop healthy relationships? Wouldn’t his mother’s powerful love be enough? Daunting questions whose answers no one knows for sure.

Website design By BotEap.comHowever, evidence backed by research and real life stories in the first edition of “The Effects of Father: How Your Father Influenced Who You Are and Who You Love,” indicates that without the presence of a father in these early years, girls feel abandoned. hurt and rejected. As a result, her self-esteem is low, her self-esteem is dubious, and her relationship options are all connected to meeting men like her father (to heal the wounds) or extremely opposites (to avoid repetition at all costs).

Website design By BotEap.comEven with the strongest mother figure (s) there seems to be a deep longing for the love of a man, a father figure they never had when they were young children. Closer examination reveals that when the presence of a father is negative, a young woman is very likely to seek “love” in the arms of a man, whether it is good for her or not.

Website design By BotEap.comThe father-daughter experience tells us that the desire to be loved by our parents is a deep emotional need that is rooted in our biological and psychological makeup. We feel connected to our parents because they created us together. Shouldn’t they love us and want to be a part of our life just for that? And if they don’t, if they hurt us or leave us, doesn’t it make sense for us to personalize it? I know I felt insecure and unloved when my father left. It took me years to realize that it wasn’t about me.

Website design By BotEap.comFor many women, their father’s love was their first love. For others, it was their first disappointment. If your father was unable or unwilling to provide you with unconditional love, even if it was abusive, all is not lost. You don’t need to feel that your low self-esteem will never improve and that you will never attract a loving partner because of your father’s inadequate parenting skills, poor judgment, and hurtful acts. You have the power to separate yourself from that experience and you know that you deserve to be loved.

Website design By BotEap.comYour happiness and the success of your relationships depend on only one element; You – You and the power of your mind; You and the inner strength you possess to overcome your darkest moments and your saddest heartache.

Website design By BotEap.comFrom this day on, turn that need for your father’s love and approval within you and nurture your Self. Focus on his positive qualities. Embrace your loving heart. Let go of the past, you have been burdened, saddened and affected for quite some time. And once you’re in this process of self-healing and self-love, spread those feelings out to those who would appreciate it so much: your kids, your friends, and even your favorite charity.

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