Website design By BotEap.comWelcome to the month of LOVE… February. At this time of year, most of us think of “Valentine’s Day”, flowers, chocolates and hugs with that special someone. But there is a different kind of love that we can choose to celebrate. It’s the kind of love most of us don’t talk about, or maybe don’t even think about, but it’s one of the most important kinds of love we’ll ever have.
Self-love.
Website design By BotEap.comHow you love (or don’t) yourself is reflected in every area of your life, from your relationships to your finances to your job. Every success. Every failure. Every thought, feeling and action.
Website design By BotEap.comWhen you face life not liking what and who you see in the mirror each morning, it affects what you do, what you say, what you think, and ultimately who you are. When you approach life liking (even loving) what and who you see in the mirror every morning, that affects you too.
Website design By BotEap.comUnfortunately, it seems easier to focus on what we DON’T like about ourselves, be it physical attributes or character traits. And our society that values ”perfection” (whatever THAT is) and upholds strict standards of physical beauty doesn’t help. You only have to look at TV commercials, magazine ads, and just about any type of advertising to realize what you don’t have and what advertisers would have you believe you need to be better, more dignified.
Website design By BotEap.comBut the truth is, you’re already the best you can be. Right now, in this moment. Imagine what life would be like if you believed:
- You are the perfect version of you.
- You have everything you need to be happy and fulfilled.
- You are beautiful just the way you are.
Website design By BotEap.comRegardless of what we have been “programmed” to believe about ourselves (by others or by the world), we all deserve to be:
- Happy
- Loved
- Accepted for who we are
Website design By BotEap.comBut somewhere along the way, we are told (or shown) something different. Through our experiences, the words and actions of others, and messages in the media, we can learn to believe that we don’t matter and that we are not worthy, which can lead us to think and feel bad about ourselves, which then leads to to treat ourselves badly. We often treat ourselves as we THINK we are, rather than as we REALLY are. And the vicious cycle begins: thinking bad about yourself, feeling bad about yourself, treating yourself badly… and because we treat ourselves badly, it makes us think and feel worse about ourselves.
Website design By BotEap.comOne trap many of us fall into is looking for others to make us happy, love us, and accept us, especially when we ourselves are not capable of doing this ourselves. But when you expect others to do for you what you can’t do for yourself, it can be a dangerous trap. Looking outside of yourself for validation sends a message that your opinion, beliefs, and feelings don’t count. When in reality, they are the only ones who do.
Website design By BotEap.comBeing loved does not require anyone else besides you.
Website design By BotEap.comSome may make you believe that love is conditional and that the only way to have love is to be loved by another. But if you don’t love yourself, how the hell can you expect someone else to love you?
Website design By BotEap.comHere are some tips to love yourself again:
- Take the BEST FRIEND test. How would your best friend describe you? Would they have to say the same harsh things that go through your mind? Or would his words be peppered with praise, strengths, and brilliant qualities? Write a paragraph (or two or three) describing yourself through the eyes of your best friend. Once you write your description of yourself as “best friend,” read it. Then read it again. Then post it where you can see it. And every time you see it, read it. And take the time to really FEEL IT and let it in. Let a smile creep in, starting at your toes and working your way up to his face.
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- Think about what love means to you. What things do people say and do when they love another person? Are they critical or kind with your comments? Do they find the best in others and situations or do they constantly berate those around them? What little things do they do to show love? Think of love in terms of your five senses: sight, touch, hearing, taste, and smell. Whatever love means to you, make a point to find out. It is very important to know how YOU experience love. Because once you have an idea, you can make it happen yourself, whether you’re in a relationship or not.
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- Make a list of all the things that make you feel loved. Remember to think in terms of your five senses. For example, a particular word or phrase (such as “I love you”) can evoke feelings of love (sound); or your favorite decadent dessert (chocolate) might wake something up (smell, taste).
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- Pick one thing on your “things that make me feel loved” list each day and make it happen. If it’s a word or a phrase, say so to yourself. If it’s an action, do it. The point is that you can do something for yourself every day to show yourself love.
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- Fill in the blanks. At the end of each day, finish this sentence (either out loud or in a journal), “something I love about myself is _____.”
