Communicate to be heard
Website design By BotEap.comFor many of us today, our workplace has changed considerably. Not only the location but the environment. Some of us sit at kitchen tables to work, some of us sit at a table in our bedrooms, and some of us (who are the lucky ones) have an actual office in our homes.
Website design By BotEap.comFor me, the workplace and the environment have been the same for over 20 years. I am what used to be considered a remote worker or telecommuter, having spent approximately 5 years in a corporate environment as a remote project manager and trainer and 15 years self-employed as a recruiter, training designer and facilitator, working from home. So for me, the current work environment is not new.
Website design By BotEap.comI enjoy working from a home office, although as I recall it took me a while to adjust to myself and others in my home. And communication was difficult. I remember several communication challenges, one of which was the large construction project that was taking place outside my window. The noise was unbelievable. To communicate with others, by phone or conference calls, I had to get in my car, drive to a local park, and join the conference calls on my cell phone. Try following a PowerPoint presentation without access to Zoom or its equivalent.
Website design By BotEap.comRemote work can present a variety of communication challenges, not only with the medium, but also with the words and tone we use when communicating on the phone. Even video calls are challenging because it’s hard to read expressions and body language. And it’s hard to hear, particularly when the whole team is on the call. Listening is a skill that requires constant work. How do you ensure the active participation of all those who receive the message? How do you make sure they are listening to what you are communicating? What is your measure to make sure they hear and understand the message?
Website design By BotEap.comHow we listen
Website design By BotEap.comThere are five different types of listening, depending on Future Ready Leadership programs offered by Mohawk College Enterprise (MCE). In these programs, the emphasis is on the ability of leaders to communicate with their teams by being effective listeners. They identify the different types of listening as simulated, selective, active, reflective, and empathic.
Website design By BotEap.comHave you ever found your mind drifting off topic during conference calls or online meetings? Have you ever wondered what to make for dinner tonight or what’s the best way to help your kids with their latest online assignment instead of talking about the business topic or the problem a team member brings up? If so, then you are pretending to listen. You may be demonstrating the correct body language with nods and murmurs of agreement, but your mind is elsewhere. This happens to all of us and while it should be discouraged, we recognize that sometimes we just need to daydream.
Website design By BotEap.comSelective listening is disruptive because we are hearing what we want to hear, interpreting what we hear in terms of our opinions, views, and attitudes about the topic rather than the speaker’s intent. Simoni Lawrence of the Hamilton Ticats Canadian Soccer League says, “Real communication isn’t always about what is said, it’s about what is heard.” The listener may hear specific words and phrases differently than the speaker intended, which can lead to misinformation, mistakes, incorrect assumptions and decisions, and worse, negatively affect relationships.
Website design By BotEap.comThink of the current phrase ‘defund the police’. What do we hear when we hear the word underfunding? Some of us hear ‘disband or dismantle the current policing structure and system’, others hear ‘reduce the police budget’ and still others hear ‘redistribute the police budget to better reflect the needs of the community’.
Website design By BotEap.comWhat is the intention of those who ask to defund the police? What are we hearing from this request?
Website design By BotEap.comHow we listen
Website design By BotEap.comActive, reflective and empathic listening is interactive in nature. These forms of listening require an active participation of both the sender and the receiver with feedback between the two parties. Participation is the act of being clear about the message that is being sent and that the receiver responds correctly and appropriately. Empathic listening is considered the best way, as it is about paying attention, listening with insight and compassion.
Website design By BotEap.comAlthough we can understand and appreciate the concept of empathic listening, it is difficult to apply it continuously. The challenge is how we perceive the world. Our perceptions may be coloring our ability to listen effectively. In his book, dare to leadBrené Brown tells us that these perceptions or lenses through which we see the world “…are welded to who we are. That’s a challenge if you were raised in the majority culture – white, straight, male, middle class. .. – and you were probably taught that your perspective is correct and everyone else needs to adjust their lens.”
Website design By BotEap.comThe key to empathetic listening is being able to learn from others, being able to adjust our lens by asking for and carefully considering their input and feedback. We need to give them the opportunity to share their thoughts and feelings, ask questions to clarify our understanding, and find out what they want to change. With this clarity of communication, we can measure how effectively we respond.
Website design By BotEap.comCommunication is a dynamic process, considering the message not only in terms of content, words, and tone, but also how it will be most effectively delivered. With effective communication, no matter our workplace or environment, we work to connect with others by recognizing the intent of your message, adjusting our perception, and ensuring clarity and understanding of what is heard.