arthur miller Website design By BotEap.comSo what does it mean to take one’s life in one’s arms? Is there another way to be a human being, a way that doesn’t come with such a high price? How to be a human being that empowers life. If the type of human being we have described so far is the way we are unconsciously, how would we design a conscious human being? Website design By BotEap.comThe conversation of a self-aware human being is clearly going to be, I’m fine. The thought that something is wrong with us, that we are not okay, is just a worn-out remnant of childhood. It’s not the truth about us. The conversation of this human being about where to go is that there is no place to go. I’ve already done it in life. There is nothing to prove, nothing that can be proven. This human being is going to be interested in other people. It’s really interesting. Once people understand that they are okay and that there is nowhere to go and nothing to prove and that life is about the journey and not the destination, what they naturally do is turn their attention to other people. And what they are committed to is empowering people, serving them, contributing, making a difference. Website design By BotEap.comLife is truly paradoxical and here is the greatest paradox of all: as long as you are in life for what is there for you, there is nothing for you. Only when you are in life for others can all the riches of life come to you. Website design By BotEap.comThe only real job of leadership is to facilitate people’s shift from being unaware to being aware, and you do that by how you are with them and by managing what they have their attention on. How does that look? Website design By BotEap.comLook for the best in people Website design By BotEap.comGeorge Allen, the late coach of the Washington Redskins, was legendary for his ability to take a group of older, veteran players that other coaches had discarded and mold them into a championship team. Coach Allen looked for and expected the best in his players and, as a result, they played beyond what others might perceive as his limitations. George Allen defended the greatness of him and enthusiastically encouraged and supported them. Website design By BotEap.comIs this the usual way co-workers relate to each other? clearly not. The attention to oneself caused by one’s own sense of inadequacy drives people to compete with each other and creates a bias towards critical and negative analysis of others in order to improve one’s social position and appearance. We literally look for the worst in others in an attempt to hide or dilute our own perceived shortcomings by comparison. Website design By BotEap.comTo counteract this seemingly natural tendency, learn to seek and expect the best from all co-workers and become everyone else’s biggest fan. What does each individual have that makes them a valuable contribution to the company? Who are these people really and what are their best attributes and strengths? Merely casual relationships with co-workers and clients make this type of positive evaluation impossible. Website design By BotEap.comrecognize people Website design By BotEap.comIn his book The One Minute Manager, Ken Blanchard mentions the importance of catching people in the act of doing something right and praising them for it. Similarly, the great management theorist, Frederick Herzberg, demonstrated that recognition and a sense of accomplishment provide the highest levels of motivation and productivity for employees once a minimally acceptable level of financial security has been achieved. Website design By BotEap.comEveryone craves positive attention. Look for opportunities to recognize co-workers. What positive impact are they having on the company? Recognize people for doing a good job, for meeting a deadline, for keeping their promises. Recognize them by their appearance, the way they handle their workload, or the way they treat others. Always remember to keep it authentic and sincere, and look for and find plenty of opportunities to thank people for the many big and small contributions they make to the company. Website design By BotEap.comNot only is it important to recognize people for their actions and behaviors, but it’s also important that you thank people for the intangible contributions they make, for their sincerity, for their commitment, and for their enthusiasm. Thank people for who they are and what they bring to the party. Recognize them for caring, for their smile, for their devotion and loyalty. Website design By BotEap.comThere is much more that can be said, but it will all come naturally if you develop a rigorous commitment to the possibility of true dignity and fulfillment in all your dealings with others. Our workplace lives can continue to unfold in anger and frustration; they can continue to consume themselves to infinity demonstrating our sufficiency and worth; they can remain dedicated to criticizing others and justifying ourselves, or they can dedicate themselves to creating a profession of genuine human interaction, partnership, and peace. You can lead the way. It just takes will and commitment to do it.
Is it time to rebuild society?
Website design By BotEap.com“When society needs to be rebuilt, it is useless to try to rebuild it on the old plan. Great improvements in the lot of mankind are not possible, until there is a great change in the fundamental constitution of their modes of thought.” John Stuart’s Mill
Website design By BotEap.comIf you look at our culture, the world we’ve grown up in, the prevailing paradigm is that parents know and children don’t, and it’s the parents’ job to teach the uneducated child what they need to learn about life. Unfortunately, given their upbringing, our parents weren’t very adept at doing this. For the most part, we were criticized, scolded, beaten, punished and treated disrespectfully. Even if our parents were loving, we received many negative messages from other children, from the school system, and from wherever we went. Negative messages are part of the very fabric of our culture.
Website design By BotEap.comWhen an otherwise intelligent child is treated in this way, he invariably concludes that he must not be very intelligent, very bright, very capable, or some other equally daunting notion. I’m convinced that no one escapes childhood without concluding, one way or another, that there must be something wrong with them, maybe they’re not good enough, maybe they’re not right. Do you wonder why more people fear public speaking than even death? After all, most people feel that they would rather die than stand up in front of a group and expose their flaws. This also explains why people are so easily influenced and want approval so much. After all, if you don’t approve of yourself, you seek the approval of others.
Website design By BotEap.comSo the fundamental statement that people build their lives on is: I’m not okay. And this has some pretty devastating consequences. When you feel that you are not well, you have your attention on yourself and you literally worry about your own survival. Life then is about proving that they are okay and, in our culture, Madison Avenue has indoctrinated us with the belief that being okay is synonymous with succeeding in life, achieving the American dream, having the house with the white picket fence, the right number of children who behave perfectly, the best Mercedes, etc., etc., etc.
Website design By BotEap.comAnd human beings have developed some interesting rules for playing the game of survival. The most relevant are: Always, in all circumstances, try to be right and avoid being wrong at all costs; always try to win and make sure you never lose; always be in control of every situation and relationship; always try to justify himself and his actions and invalidate others and theirs; and whenever things don’t work out, blame others and avoid responsibility.
Website design By BotEap.comLet’s see how this plays out in society. Everyone is trying to survive and make it. People aren’t about making love, they’re about making war and taking revenge. And, most people are unwilling to take responsibility for their own circumstances. We have raised a generation of victims. After all, when something goes wrong, justify yourself, invalidate others, blame others, and avoid responsibility. This is why people are so happy with litigation. No one sees himself as responsible for anything in his life. And they are using the legal system to play the game. Often, very often, people go to lawyers, not because they have a legitimate right they want to assert, but because they want to use the system to be right, or to get revenge, or to win. People are using lawyers to fight their battles for them.
Website design By BotEap.comIt seems to me that it’s the lawyer’s job to help people figure all that out, to hold them accountable, to not use the system inappropriately. That is what Gandhi saw:
Website design By BotEap.com“My joy knew no bounds. I had learned the true practice of law. I had learned to discover the better side of human nature and to enter the hearts of men. I realized that the true function of a lawyer was to unite people. divided parts”. it was so indelibly engraved on me that a large part of my time during the twenty years of my practice as a lawyer was occupied in reaching private engagements of hundreds of cases.”
Website design By BotEap.comBut here is the real problem. Lawyers are human beings too. They too are caught up in the reality of life. They are also worried about their survival, about doing it, etc. The legal profession is, for too many lawyers, a place to make it in life. So are they necessarily willing to stand up for justice, honor, integrity, fairness, etc.? and clarify to the client? Mostly not. They don’t want to lose the customer, they want the money, they know the customer will go to someone else, they don’t want to look stupid, etc. Then the lawyers perpetuate the problem and they also pay the consequences of this, which is why so many lawyers end up unhappy and their clients end up without being served. It’s a rotten game and everyone is losing.
Website design By BotEap.comSo where do we go from here? I hope it’s obvious that BandAid’s solutions aren’t going to work. As John Stuart Mill said, we really need to rebuild our society and we can’t rebuild it on the old plan. Indeed, there needs to be a great change in the fundamental constitution of our way of thinking. Another quote comes to mind:
Website design By BotEap.com“I dreamed that I had a son, and even in the dream I saw that it was my life, and I was an idiot, and I ran away. I could kiss him, whatever was mine, maybe I could sleep. And I leaned over his broken face, and it was horrible… but I kissed him. I think one should finally take life in one’s arms.”
arthur miller Website design By BotEap.comSo what does it mean to take one’s life in one’s arms? Is there another way to be a human being, a way that doesn’t come with such a high price? How to be a human being that empowers life. If the type of human being we have described so far is the way we are unconsciously, how would we design a conscious human being? Website design By BotEap.comThe conversation of a self-aware human being is clearly going to be, I’m fine. The thought that something is wrong with us, that we are not okay, is just a worn-out remnant of childhood. It’s not the truth about us. The conversation of this human being about where to go is that there is no place to go. I’ve already done it in life. There is nothing to prove, nothing that can be proven. This human being is going to be interested in other people. It’s really interesting. Once people understand that they are okay and that there is nowhere to go and nothing to prove and that life is about the journey and not the destination, what they naturally do is turn their attention to other people. And what they are committed to is empowering people, serving them, contributing, making a difference. Website design By BotEap.comLife is truly paradoxical and here is the greatest paradox of all: as long as you are in life for what is there for you, there is nothing for you. Only when you are in life for others can all the riches of life come to you. Website design By BotEap.comThe only real job of leadership is to facilitate people’s shift from being unaware to being aware, and you do that by how you are with them and by managing what they have their attention on. How does that look? Website design By BotEap.comLook for the best in people Website design By BotEap.comGeorge Allen, the late coach of the Washington Redskins, was legendary for his ability to take a group of older, veteran players that other coaches had discarded and mold them into a championship team. Coach Allen looked for and expected the best in his players and, as a result, they played beyond what others might perceive as his limitations. George Allen defended the greatness of him and enthusiastically encouraged and supported them. Website design By BotEap.comIs this the usual way co-workers relate to each other? clearly not. The attention to oneself caused by one’s own sense of inadequacy drives people to compete with each other and creates a bias towards critical and negative analysis of others in order to improve one’s social position and appearance. We literally look for the worst in others in an attempt to hide or dilute our own perceived shortcomings by comparison. Website design By BotEap.comTo counteract this seemingly natural tendency, learn to seek and expect the best from all co-workers and become everyone else’s biggest fan. What does each individual have that makes them a valuable contribution to the company? Who are these people really and what are their best attributes and strengths? Merely casual relationships with co-workers and clients make this type of positive evaluation impossible. Website design By BotEap.comrecognize people Website design By BotEap.comIn his book The One Minute Manager, Ken Blanchard mentions the importance of catching people in the act of doing something right and praising them for it. Similarly, the great management theorist, Frederick Herzberg, demonstrated that recognition and a sense of accomplishment provide the highest levels of motivation and productivity for employees once a minimally acceptable level of financial security has been achieved. Website design By BotEap.comEveryone craves positive attention. Look for opportunities to recognize co-workers. What positive impact are they having on the company? Recognize people for doing a good job, for meeting a deadline, for keeping their promises. Recognize them by their appearance, the way they handle their workload, or the way they treat others. Always remember to keep it authentic and sincere, and look for and find plenty of opportunities to thank people for the many big and small contributions they make to the company. Website design By BotEap.comNot only is it important to recognize people for their actions and behaviors, but it’s also important that you thank people for the intangible contributions they make, for their sincerity, for their commitment, and for their enthusiasm. Thank people for who they are and what they bring to the party. Recognize them for caring, for their smile, for their devotion and loyalty. Website design By BotEap.comThere is much more that can be said, but it will all come naturally if you develop a rigorous commitment to the possibility of true dignity and fulfillment in all your dealings with others. Our workplace lives can continue to unfold in anger and frustration; they can continue to consume themselves to infinity demonstrating our sufficiency and worth; they can remain dedicated to criticizing others and justifying ourselves, or they can dedicate themselves to creating a profession of genuine human interaction, partnership, and peace. You can lead the way. It just takes will and commitment to do it.
arthur miller Website design By BotEap.comSo what does it mean to take one’s life in one’s arms? Is there another way to be a human being, a way that doesn’t come with such a high price? How to be a human being that empowers life. If the type of human being we have described so far is the way we are unconsciously, how would we design a conscious human being? Website design By BotEap.comThe conversation of a self-aware human being is clearly going to be, I’m fine. The thought that something is wrong with us, that we are not okay, is just a worn-out remnant of childhood. It’s not the truth about us. The conversation of this human being about where to go is that there is no place to go. I’ve already done it in life. There is nothing to prove, nothing that can be proven. This human being is going to be interested in other people. It’s really interesting. Once people understand that they are okay and that there is nowhere to go and nothing to prove and that life is about the journey and not the destination, what they naturally do is turn their attention to other people. And what they are committed to is empowering people, serving them, contributing, making a difference. Website design By BotEap.comLife is truly paradoxical and here is the greatest paradox of all: as long as you are in life for what is there for you, there is nothing for you. Only when you are in life for others can all the riches of life come to you. Website design By BotEap.comThe only real job of leadership is to facilitate people’s shift from being unaware to being aware, and you do that by how you are with them and by managing what they have their attention on. How does that look? Website design By BotEap.comLook for the best in people Website design By BotEap.comGeorge Allen, the late coach of the Washington Redskins, was legendary for his ability to take a group of older, veteran players that other coaches had discarded and mold them into a championship team. Coach Allen looked for and expected the best in his players and, as a result, they played beyond what others might perceive as his limitations. George Allen defended the greatness of him and enthusiastically encouraged and supported them. Website design By BotEap.comIs this the usual way co-workers relate to each other? clearly not. The attention to oneself caused by one’s own sense of inadequacy drives people to compete with each other and creates a bias towards critical and negative analysis of others in order to improve one’s social position and appearance. We literally look for the worst in others in an attempt to hide or dilute our own perceived shortcomings by comparison. Website design By BotEap.comTo counteract this seemingly natural tendency, learn to seek and expect the best from all co-workers and become everyone else’s biggest fan. What does each individual have that makes them a valuable contribution to the company? Who are these people really and what are their best attributes and strengths? Merely casual relationships with co-workers and clients make this type of positive evaluation impossible. Website design By BotEap.comrecognize people Website design By BotEap.comIn his book The One Minute Manager, Ken Blanchard mentions the importance of catching people in the act of doing something right and praising them for it. Similarly, the great management theorist, Frederick Herzberg, demonstrated that recognition and a sense of accomplishment provide the highest levels of motivation and productivity for employees once a minimally acceptable level of financial security has been achieved. Website design By BotEap.comEveryone craves positive attention. Look for opportunities to recognize co-workers. What positive impact are they having on the company? Recognize people for doing a good job, for meeting a deadline, for keeping their promises. Recognize them by their appearance, the way they handle their workload, or the way they treat others. Always remember to keep it authentic and sincere, and look for and find plenty of opportunities to thank people for the many big and small contributions they make to the company. Website design By BotEap.comNot only is it important to recognize people for their actions and behaviors, but it’s also important that you thank people for the intangible contributions they make, for their sincerity, for their commitment, and for their enthusiasm. Thank people for who they are and what they bring to the party. Recognize them for caring, for their smile, for their devotion and loyalty. Website design By BotEap.comThere is much more that can be said, but it will all come naturally if you develop a rigorous commitment to the possibility of true dignity and fulfillment in all your dealings with others. Our workplace lives can continue to unfold in anger and frustration; they can continue to consume themselves to infinity demonstrating our sufficiency and worth; they can remain dedicated to criticizing others and justifying ourselves, or they can dedicate themselves to creating a profession of genuine human interaction, partnership, and peace. You can lead the way. It just takes will and commitment to do it.