What’s with these complicated massages?

Website design By BotEap.comSwedish, deep tissue and sports massage are all modalities we receive. However, as I have progressed in my massage career, I have come across some really strange sounding massages being offered out there. As useful or good as they are, their names don’t do them much justice. Here’s what I’ve come up with so far:

Website design By BotEap.comRolfing. Is this a technical massage or a new buzzword for vomit?

Website design By BotEap.comMyofacial Release. It sounds naughty to me. Just say.

Website design By BotEap.comLymphatic drainage. Big! Why would someone ask that? Sounds like something you need after surgery.

Website design By BotEap.comStructural integration. Sounds like something a therapist would prescribe.

Website design By BotEap.comoshiatsu. Isn’t this a breed of dog?

Website design By BotEap.comCraniosacral Therapy. Sounds like a recovery plan after a brain injury.

Website design By BotEap.comErasure of traumas. Well damn. hook me up I mean, doesn’t everyone need this after their first marriage?

Website design By BotEap.comZero balance. Sounds like my checking account.

Website design By BotEap.comTouch Tellington. Touch and count. Come on, really?

Website design By BotEap.comAlright. Alright. That’s all I have for now. Although there are many many more. Please do not get me wrong. I am a therapist and have the utmost respect for these modalities and their creators. But, you have to admit. It’s really fun. And if you’re like me, you’ve heard of some of these modalities that therapists offer without explanation, none of which sound the least bit appealing, and you leave it up to us to fill in the blanks.

Website design By BotEap.comWe are not likely to seek, let alone pay for, these services; no matter how good they may be. They really should have come up with better names. This is another reason why I specialize in relaxation massages, plain and simple. It feels great and you don’t have to carry around a medical dictionary to find out what’s on the menu.