Addiction Recovery: What Families Need to Know

Website design By BotEap.comHow can you be so selfish? You can clearly see how much pain it is causing. Why don’t you care? I can’t take stress anymore. It is destroying all of our dreams. Our lives have become hell. Aren’t you tired of living like this?

Website design By BotEap.comThese are the typical thoughts that go through your mind when you love a person who is dependent on drugs or alcohol. You cannot understand why it continues on such a destructive path. Why do you make so many bad decisions? Why are you causing so much pain to your family and loved ones?

Website design By BotEap.comThere is no point in continuing to drink or use drugs even in the face of devastating consequences. He may know that you are leaving him, that his children are suffering, that his job is at stake, that he is about to lose everything of value in his life, but he can’t seem to stop.

Website design By BotEap.comYou get so mad because he obviously doesn’t care. You blame him for being weak. But this is not because he does not care and it is not because he is weak, he is sick with the disease of addiction. All the blame, blame, and arguing in the world won’t change it. He needs help.

Website design By BotEap.comHe hopes I will eventually ask for that help. To search for it once it hits bottom. You think that if you keep pointing out his mistakes, reminding him of his failures, and taking the blame, he will come out of it and come back to himself. Unfortunately, for many addicts it takes a tragic turn before they seek help on their own, and sometimes not even then.

Website design By BotEap.comYou don’t have the power to take away your loved one’s addiction, but you do have the power to give your loved one a good push toward help. You can educate yourself about addiction, talk to doctors, and find a good treatment program. Once you are ready, you can gather family and friends and perform an intervention. You can give him an ultimatum.

Website design By BotEap.comAn ultimatum, if you are serious and ready to move on, may be all it takes to convince you to accept help. However, if you decide to perform an intervention, you must be prepared. An intervention is not a confrontation, but if mishandled it can become one. The smartest way to perform an intervention is with the help of a professional. Once you find a treatment program, they can help you.

Website design By BotEap.comBefore beginning this process, you need to be prepared to set healthy limits and stay strong. Helping a loved one with addiction is very different from helping a loved one with any other illness. Anything you do to ease your pain will only spread the disease and make it stronger. As long as you are there to hold his hand, rescue him, correct his mistakes, and make life easier for him, he will never see the need to fight his illness.

Website design By BotEap.comThis is why it is so important for families to understand the disease of addiction. The first step in helping your loved one is acquiring knowledge. It is difficult to help another person if you do not understand the problem. That includes understanding what your role has been in empowering you.

Website design By BotEap.comIn the process of learning about your loved one’s addiction, keep an eye on your own recovery and growth. By attending Al-Anon meetings, you can learn to make healthy changes in your family dynamics. You can gain strength and knowledge, not to mention the extra support of your group to help you through difficult times.

Website design By BotEap.comEven if you are not yet ready to face your loved one with an ultimatum, now is the time to find a good treatment program. This can be a daunting task. If you wait for the addict to say that he is ready, in the time it will take him to finalize the plans, he is likely to change his mind. You want to have everything prepared, so that when the time comes, there are no delays.

Website design By BotEap.comA good place for the family to start their search is The substance abuse treatment facility locator. This federal agency provides an online resource for locating drug and alcohol abuse treatment programs.

Website design By BotEap.comFinances are most likely an important factor when making a decision. According to the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration, 22.2 million Americans are addicted to drugs or alcohol, but ninety percent receive no treatment. Studies show that the main obstacle is cost. It is a sad fact that many families spend all the savings they have, including mortgaging their homes or draining funds for retirement and college, in an attempt to save their loved ones.

Website design By BotEap.comThis is what leads many people to Alcoholics Anonymous and other twelve-step programs. They are for free. They have meetings in many places and at various times of the day. Thousands of people have used these programs to stay clean and sober. For those who have completed a recovery program, AA can also be a good form of ongoing care.

Website design By BotEap.comKeep in mind that each individual is different and what works for one person does not necessarily work for everyone. If your loved one tries this route and fails, it does not mean that the desire to quit is not there.

Website design By BotEap.comIt’s especially frustrating for the family because they want a program like AA to work. You don’t want to clear your bank account to pay for a treatment center. Life would be so much easier if your loved one could work the twelve steps and stay clean.

Website design By BotEap.comThen there is another issue that families must grapple with; even if they provide the funds necessary to cover rehabilitation, seventy percent of patients relapse after their first time in treatment. It is not an easy solution. Recovery is a process that can include many relapses. This is a harsh reality to face.

Website design By BotEap.comOnce we convince our loved one to undergo treatment, we may feel a surge of relief. We believe that the nightmare is finally over, and now life can return to normal. But we must be careful not to have unrealistic expectations of treatment. There is no cure for addiction. For the addict, and for those who love the addict and choose to support him / her, recovery can be a lifelong battle.

Website design By BotEap.comRecovering addicts seem to have the concept of “one day at a time,” but families tend to struggle with this. We want a contract, a promise or a guarantee of a perfect future. We want the Norman Rockwell painting, but that’s a lot of unfair pressure to put on our loved ones. Waiting for her sobriety to solve all of our problems and unify the whole family is a difficult task.

Website design By BotEap.comWe must not forget that the recovering addict has a lot of work ahead of him. In most cases, drugs and alcohol have been used to mask deeper problems that they now have to deal with without the numbing effects of drugs. On top of that, they will still have to deal with their cravings. Rehab teaches addicts to manage their addiction, but it cannot eliminate the desire.

Website design By BotEap.comAlthough recovery can be a difficult road, it does not mean that relapse is inevitable. In fact, a promising statistic is that more than half of the people who receive treatment eventually reach a state of sustained recovery.

Website design By BotEap.comSo what can the family do to improve the chances of recovery for their loved ones? Education is the most important key. The family must understand the recovery process and the challenges the addict will face.

Website design By BotEap.comFamily members must work on their own physical and emotional health. Each person should focus primarily on himself. It can be just as easy to become obsessed with the recovering addict as when you were using. Constantly looking for clues to a relapse and waiting for you to screw it up again will only hurt your recovery. While it is true that trust is earned, we can easily revert the addict to old patterns if we still hold on to resentment and punish him for past mistakes.

Website design By BotEap.comThis is why it is so important for family members to continue their own recovery program. Support groups like Al-Anon are just as important once the addict enters treatment. Sobriety can cause new strains in family relationships, and this can be a challenging time for everyone. The healthiest way to handle these changes is for each person to focus on their own path.

Website design By BotEap.comRecovery from addiction is a process and there will likely be obstacles along the way, but life can be especially rewarding for families who make it to the other side. Educate your family and take steps to make a healthy change. Addiction is treatable and there is hope for a sustainable recovery. Sometimes the addict just needs a good push.