“Instruct a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it.” Proverbs 22:6.
No one can claim to be a perfect father. It is through trial and error that one learns how best to shape a child’s character, depending on her personality. Love, patience, and negotiating skills form the foundation of good parenting. Teaching respect, responsibility, and resourcefulness should be the goal. Website design By BotEap.comParental love is instinctive and must be unconditional. It is best expressed in the way a child is raised. Patients should not be ashamed of showing emotions. A child is never too old to be hugged. Open affection between husband and wife is most reassuring to the child. He will have confidence that he is safe and secure in her love and that they are always available to guide him. Good communication between parents and children favors union. Only when there is a healthy relationship between them can discipline be instilled. Website design By BotEap.comDiscipline is for the positive good of the child. Guarendi says, “Discipline is one of the most loving and lasting gifts a parent can give a child.” A child needs limits and discipline teaches him to respect authority. Obedience should be expected at all times. Praise for good behavior is important. But he must also be taught to accept ‘No’ for an answer. Discipline provides a structure for emotional and social growth. Learn to live by the family code of ethics and develop self-confidence and responsibility for his actions. However, discipline must be consistent. The correction must be done in a positive way and not with punitive measures. One must be polite but firm in enforcing the rules. The child must know that discipline is like “a garland to adorn his head and a chain to adorn his neck.” (Proverbs 1:7-9) Website design By BotEap.comOverindulgence and pampering can stunt a child’s personality. It will rob you of your problem solving skills. It will destroy motivation and make you lazy. There are many reasons why parents become too lenient. Both parents may be working and feel guilty about not spending enough time with their child. They may be divorced and compensate by giving you too many liberties. They may be anxious parents who want to overprotect their child. So they give in to their whims and demands. Some parents find a way to meet their own needs through their child. Helicopter parents do not allow their child to grow up and make their own decisions. Website design By BotEap.comPermissive parents, on the other hand, let their child do what he likes. They are not directive or demanding. Anything the child does is fine with them. Parents are so engrossed in their own lives that they don’t have time to play an active role in their children’s lives. Such a child is insecure and lacks direction. He knows that his parents won’t care about what he does. There are no guidelines or limits. Such a child is confused, makes wrong decisions and will fall into delinquency. Website design By BotEap.comAt the other extreme are authoritarian parents who are control freaks and set strict rules that must be followed. They are critical of everything the child does. They destroy their self-esteem by making derogatory comments. There is never a word of praise. Threats and punitive measures are inflicted for minor offenses. As a result, the boy becomes a nervous wreck, living under a cloud of fear. But as an adult he can develop an antisocial personality that leads to frequent run-ins with the law. Website design By BotEap.comBecause “sons are the heritage of the Lord” (Psalm 127:3) the authority of parents must be united and consistent. Parents cannot make contradictory demands. They need to be good role models and the home should provide a loving, caring and nurturing environment. They should speak freely about their faith and their relationship with God. Moral values must be instilled in the child. “The way to raise a moral child is to be a moral person,” says David Elkand.