Friendship is important to save your marriage

Website design By BotEap.comIt sounds like a simple enough concept, but it’s one aspect of a marriage that is eliminated first. Whether this is due to negligence or done on purpose probably depends on the individual couples.

Website design By BotEap.comBut how it ultimately happens doesn’t matter. The fact that it happens is what is truly sad.

Website design By BotEap.comWhat I’m talking about? Friendship. Research on marital relationships indicates that for the vast majority of couples, the most important goal is to make sure that their spouse is their friend, and that he or she, in turn, is a friend to the couple.

Website design By BotEap.comThis makes sense. Moms since the beginning of time have been telling their daughters this. “Everything else, good looks…sexual attraction…matters little if you and your husbands aren’t friends first.”

Website design By BotEap.comIt is not surprising, then, that when marriages are young and relationships healthy, most spouses recognize this friendship factor. In fact, it may surprise some women to learn that men describe their wives as their best friends more often than women.

Website design By BotEap.comIf you can nurture, or rekindle, that friendship, then there is no doubt that your marriage can still be saved.

Website design By BotEap.comWhat is all this friendship about?

Website design By BotEap.comHowever, to be a friend, you really need to know what a friend is. If you were to ask a dozen random individuals what exactly a friend is, you would get a dozen different answers.

Website design By BotEap.comBut generally speaking, a friend is a person you can relax with, talk about your feelings and dreams, and a person who is there when times get tough.

Website design By BotEap.comFriends are important to you, not only emotionally but also physically. Research reveals that your friends can provide you with that much-needed cushion during some of life’s most difficult times. Those who have at least one good friend do better in almost every way imaginable, including their mental and physical health.

Website design By BotEap.comThe most powerful aspect of friendship, studies reveal, is the feeling of intimacy and connection with the other person. Men and women approach this aspect differently.

Website design By BotEap.comAnd this approach can sometimes lead to misunderstandings. Women share with friends during face to face communications. They put all activity aside while discussing the problems.

Website design By BotEap.comMen, on the other hand, tend to talk and share their feelings while doing something else.

Website design By BotEap.comIn a marriage, friendship is listening to your partner’s heart in the way that he or she can share it. And that can take any number of forms. That means creating those bonds of friendship is unique to your marriage.

Website design By BotEap.comYour job is to learn to listen carefully to what is in your partner’s heart and soul. Then you can share what’s in yours. Sounds pretty easy, doesn’t it? Then what could go wrong? A lot in today’s high-speed world.

Website design By BotEap.comFirst, let’s take the question of time. Too often, maintaining a friendship with your spouse takes a backseat to events like work, the needs of your children, meetings, and many other things.

Website design By BotEap.comSometimes friendship fails due to a biased view of it. Listen to this change in attitude. Eighty percent of newlyweds and engaged couples say their partner is their best friend. Theoretically, one would expect those ties to deepen as the years go by.

Website design By BotEap.comHowever, those couples who have been married for a while see themselves as “newlyweds.” They no longer first identify themselves as friends, or friends at all, for that matter!

Website design By BotEap.comThose marriages, however, in which the spouses acknowledge and nurture the initial friendship, are among the strongest and most enduring.

Website design By BotEap.comWhen the conversation stops

Website design By BotEap.comOne of the reasons this point of view arises is that as time passes, spouses simply stop talking to each other as friends. They seem to put their “friendship talk” on hold and only discuss their marriage problems or issues. They are deluding themselves with the intimacy they used to share so easily.

Website design By BotEap.comLet’s go a step further with this idea. Many people in a marriage eventually build a wall around themselves. And you can easily understand it, even if it is a harmful action.

Website design By BotEap.comAfter all, it’s hard to share your hopes and dreams with someone you’re currently angry with or have a major disagreement with. We’ve talked before about the habit some partners have of interpreting everything you say in a negative light. Who’s going to bare their soul only to have someone stick a knife in them in an argument they’ll experience next week? Why give your spouse more ammunition?

Website design By BotEap.comIf the two of you have an ongoing discussion on one topic, the chances of sitting down for a heart-to-heart on other topics are extremely low.

Website design By BotEap.comConsider, for example, this potential situation. You are engaged in a great friendship conversation with your spouse when the topic somehow turns into a domestic issue and ends in an argument.

Website design By BotEap.comThe chances of starting another round of friendly conversation have probably diminished. Now you are afraid that the conversation could turn sour at any moment with little or no advance warning. And I can’t say that your fear is unfounded in this case.

Website design By BotEap.comNow, How to Preserve My Friendship?

Website design By BotEap.comGreat friends question each other. Great friends get together to talk to each other. Great friends keep in touch.

Website design By BotEap.comSome parts of this answer may seem hopelessly simplistic. Some of these suggestions are easy enough to offer quickly. But keep in mind that they can be much more difficult to implement.

Website design By BotEap.comIf talking time is an issue for you, then take the time. I know a couple who talk early in the morning, the first cups of coffee in hand. And they sit there chatting about whatever comes to mind.

Website design By BotEap.comThis habit started quite simply for them. For a time, the husband needed to get up at 4:30 am to leave for work at 5:30 am The wife obviously did not need to get up that early. But she did it because it was the only time they could find without the children’s interference to talk to each other.

Website design By BotEap.comThis marriage at this point could easily have started to fall apart. Instead, it grew stronger as they enjoyed their special time together.

Website design By BotEap.comWithout even knowing it, this couple was protecting and preserving their friendship. Research now indicates the importance of this action. Creating time to nurture your friendship is one of the key investments you can make in your marriage.

Website design By BotEap.comIt’s that important. Find time. Create special moments to do just this. Whether you get up earlier, stay up later, or create a date night for that kind of conversation, it’s worth the effort.

Website design By BotEap.comHowever, you must go one step further. And in some marriages this can be a big leap. Some couples find that friendship talks always end as “conflicting disagreements” over domestic matters. Don’t let that happen.

Website design By BotEap.comIf you have to set “ground rules” so to speak to prevent this, then do so.

Website design By BotEap.comFriendship conversations deepen and strengthen your marriage.

Website design By BotEap.comBy doing this, you will find that your friendship talks are deepening and strengthening your marriage. In this way, you are providing the necessary infrastructure to survive the conflict talks that are sure to ensue.

Website design By BotEap.comIf you get up early in the morning to renew your friendship, don’t spoil this moment by bringing up potential conflicts.

Website design By BotEap.comDo not consider this evasion; Think of it as careful planning. Your relationship will be even stronger because of this.

Website design By BotEap.comUnfortunately, some couples are so far removed from this idea that they have no idea where to start this “friendship talk.” If this describes your marriage, don’t give up. It may take a bit of work, but it can definitely happen.