Website design By BotEap.comMany of us have lost loved ones, unexpectedly like my brother, or after illness like my father. Sooner or later, we will all experience the pain and trauma of the death of an important person in our lives.
Website design By BotEap.comVirtually every lore and religion tells us that we, our souls, survive after death, and most assure us that those who have passed on can communicate with us through our dreams.
Website design By BotEap.comPeople of all ages, cultures, backgrounds, and beliefs have reported communicating with a deceased loved one while in a deep sleep. They are convinced that the experience was not “just a dream” and that the character in the dream was not a character in the dream at all, but rather their deceased loved one. These types of dreams are commonly known as visiting dreams.
Website design By BotEap.comPsychologists and dream researchers love to catalog and categorize data, and while many tend to categorize and sub-categorize these types of dreams in various (and different) ways, I prefer to stick to a simple, general definition, for reasons I’ll explain. momentarily. I define a visitation dream as: a dream experience in which the dreamer feels that the deceased person was actually present in the dream. This feeling can occur during sleep and/or upon waking.
Website design By BotEap.comTo give you an idea of the different categories developed by different researchers, I will give you a brief sample.
Website design By BotEap.comDeirdre Barrett lists four types of these dreams:
- Describe the state of death.
- Deliver messages to the living.
- Seek to change the circumstances of his death.
- Give your loved ones a chance to say goodbye.
Website design By BotEap.comPatricia Garfield, in an article that appeared in the Trauma and Dreams anthology, lists 11 types of visitation dreams:
- The survivor may or may not realize that the person is actually dead.
- The deceased suffers from the symptoms that caused death.
- The dead man says goodbye to the dreamer.
- The deceased travels in a kind of vehicle.
- The survivor receives a phone call.
- The deceased appears young and healthy.
- The deceased criticizes or approves of the dreamer.
- The dead person offers advice and/or comfort to the dreamer.
- The deceased returns for a romantic or sexual encounter.
- The dead man seems to encourage the dreamer to join them in death.
- The deceased is going about their daily routines or may just be present.
Website design By BotEap.comTJ Wray and Ann Back Price, in their book Grief Dreams: How They Help Us After the Death of a Loved One (2005), opt for four types:
- Dreams of Visitation
- dreams with messages
- calming dreams
- traumatic dreams
Website design By BotEap.comI could go on but I’m sure you get the idea. There is no universal categorization, nor is there even a generally accepted number of themes or types. Robert Moss offers thirteen different tour themes, and up to twenty others.
Website design By BotEap.comNo matter how many or few ways visitation dreams are categorized, they all have one element in common…the delivery of a message. The message can be in the form of guidance, knowledge or warning and are as diverse and personal as the dreamer and the deceased.
Website design By BotEap.comSimply dreaming of a deceased person is not necessarily a spiritual communication. There is a difference between a grievance dream and a visiting dream, and herein lies the confusion. Many of us dream of our deceased loved ones shortly after their death. These dreams help us get over our grievance, guilt, pain, and loss. Because such dreams are so emotional, they are confused with dreams of visitors. In grieving dreams, your dear departed may show up for dinner or join you for a round of golf, or do what any other character in the dream might do. They usually don’t have a specific message or talk to you directly. These types of dreams are often nightmarish, disturbing, or “not real,” unlike visiting dreams which are often described as “so real and vivid.”
Website design By BotEap.comSome clues to help you determine if your dream is a visiting dream are:
Website design By BotEap.com1. The dream feels more real than an ordinary dream: You experience more clarity, focus, and mental stability. Colors seem more vivid, your senses heightened.
Website design By BotEap.com2. There is a sense that the person is really them, not just a memory or substitute for someone or something else. “That was Aunt Penny, I know it was her.”
Website design By BotEap.com3. The plot of the dream is very thin (it doesn’t have much of a plot or plot). Usually, the dream narrative consists of the interaction between you and the deceased person.
Website design By BotEap.com4. Strong emotions are commonly reported: love, forgiveness, anger, fear. However, many dreamers have reported a surprising lack of emotion in these types of dreams, which is what makes them so memorable and “different.”
Website design By BotEap.com5. There is “physical” contact between the spirit and the dreamer, usually a hug or an approach.
Website design By BotEap.com6. The deceased person often looks younger and healthier than when they passed away.
Website design By BotEap.com7. The deceased person conveys a specific message, often verbally, in person, by phone, fax, computer, letter, or text message. Also, you can also just “know” what the message is.
Website design By BotEap.comAccording to the 1927 Proceedings of the Society for Psychical Research, in 1925, a North Carolina man awoke from a dream in which his late father, who seemed very much alive, told him to “find my will in the pocket of my coat”. Going through his pocket, the man found a piece of paper directing him to a specific chapter in the family Bible. Between two pages of that chapter, the will was hidden.
Website design By BotEap.comFor many dreamers who have received visits from loved ones, they feel grateful, relieved and comforted. The messages received and the very confirmation that there is life after death has been, for some people, a life-changing experience. For others, it has altered their beliefs and their perception of reality. Are visiting dreams really our deceased loved ones communicating with us? To date, there is no scientific method capable of answering the question. It is up to you to decide if the dream you had of your dearly departed was “just a dream” or a message from the afterlife.
