The psychology behind the cougar dating phenomenon

Website design By BotEap.comThere are obvious questions and typical myths surrounding the dating phenomenon between older women and younger men. Here is a partial list:

Website design By BotEap.comQ: Isn’t it just about sex? And don’t cougars just want a youngster to have fun and play with?

Website design By BotEap.comNope! Many people think of Stiffler’s mom in American Pie or Mrs. Robinson from The Graduate and assume that the cougars are desperate women who are aging and ready to pounce on any younger man with a pulse. There is much more to this dating dynamic than people realize. It’s not just about sex, and yes, I know a lot of May/December couples who are very happily married. Cougar women are actually much more selective about their younger man and this means that younger men should have more to bring to the party than just raging libido. Younger men are driving this trend. There are more young men looking for older women than older women looking for younger men. So, it’s the ladies’ choice.

Website design By BotEap.comQ: Is Cougar dating here to stay?

Website design By BotEap.comYes. It has always existed and is very popular in Europe. In the United States, 30% of older women date younger men. The BBC says that 25% of older women are married to younger men. From a physiological perspective, it makes sense that an older woman would prefer a younger man. From a psychological imprinting perspective, I have interviewed thousands of men who have specific defining moments in their lives when they knew they were attracted to older women and preferred them to women their own age.

Website design By BotEap.comQ: Why don’t these young men go after women their own age?

Website design By BotEap.comYounger men tell me that women their age are boring, manipulative, playful, self-centered, and shallow. They are drawn to the depth, maturity, and spirit of the older woman.

Website design By BotEap.comQ: What happens when men turn 35 and their Cougar is 50 or 60 or older? Aren’t the youngsters leaving?

Website design By BotEap.com20 years of specific psychological research on psychosexual imprinting focuses on how younger men imprint on older women. An imprint is a very powerful psychological phenomenon that is a bond for life. Her babysitter, school teacher, mom’s best friend, actresses, and other older women caused an imprint formation that instantly linked them with an attraction to older women. Even though these men get older, they continue to look for women older than themselves. For that reason, men over the age of 40 are considered Cubs and refuse to date women their age or younger. This explains why a man in his late thirties can marry a woman 20 years older than him and, once single, want to seek out, date, and marry another older woman. Not all Cubs are 20-year-old men, and as I always tell my members, ‘There’s a lid for every pot.’

Website design By BotEap.comQ: So is there more to this Cougar dating trend than the general public knows?

Website design By BotEap.comMedia and pop culture ‘experts’ have jumped on the bandwagon and really know very little about this dynamic. They want to narrowly define this demographic of people and capitalize on and sensationalize it for profit, notoriety and to sell their “self-published” books. People I’ve interviewed who have lived this lifestyle for many years object to this bias of people without credentials who offer a cursory description of their otherwise highly convoluted lives. I do my best to make things clear.